I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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