I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
What did we do last night that was yellow?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
