I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I feel like death gave me a hand job
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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