That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
