do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
