When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
