Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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