You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
