R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
