All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
