I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
