And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
