I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
