? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
