i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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