Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
