the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
she woke up with a sticky ear
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
