Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
