guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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