He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
