is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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