You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
