Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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