At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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