do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
