Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
and she was petting her beer can
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
