he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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