how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
