Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
We left an ass print on the piano.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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