if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
