I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
