Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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