I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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