Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
