Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
