Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
