You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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