Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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