So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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