Someone shit on the floor
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
you had me at cake vodka
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
