Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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