I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
