This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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