If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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