do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
