When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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