i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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