she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
