Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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