let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
