Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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